November's IotM

Day or so late but here it is.

I think I need some time to come up with the right words for this miserable pile of what the fuck.

EDIT: And so I tried wrapping my head around this Mr. Store item and to be honest, who are we trying to surprise here? I'll say it sucks they'll keep pumping out more dumb shit items that will swindle you out of 10 bucks one way or another. With that said, this thing reaches a new low standard for what the hell donation content is in this game. Just when things were looking good for them and that I had a glimmer of hope of "Y'know maybe these guys aren't full blown retarded? Maybe they don't have water loosely whooshing around in their skulls" with the Halloween event and then they go and make this. I mean this thing is more terrible than a Joss Wheldon TV show. I think out of all Mr. Store items, this one has brought the least amoun to the table so to speak for the player's benefit. I mean, this probably the only Mr. Store in history to where the graphic has more to say than what it actually does. As crummy as this month's item is, it does have an upside to it. Yes this item is sucks but, it is controlling an aspect of the game that's on a balancing act of "Should they or shouldn't they mess with this" and that's the market.

Mr. a's have been soaring ever since speculation ran rapid about the floaty stone sphere being involved with at the time Rock event which was planned to be the familiar at the event's conclusion but was switched out at the last moment. With already high prices still looming, another Tome came out which made everyone go into a "OMG I MUST HAVES THISSS" frenzy to where prices when near a staggering 7 mil. With yet another fucking familiar that wasn't all that impressive and now a Familiar Equip that makes the box of fireworks look decent in its category Mr. A prices have fallen down to 6 mil. Clearly this item was a power move to calm the debacle in the mall which I'm not going to remotely get into, maybe another day at another time, but the correlation is pretty evident that this was made purposely terrible.

Oh and yeah if we're talking pure Mr. Store items,  I would go so far to say that the Mayfly Bait is way better than this because the Mayfly Bait isn't this functionally retarded unlike the Moveable Feast......or Jessica Simpson.

Sea Update - Halloween Event - Poll Results - Wrap Up

Howdy! Still undergoing PHP stuff for those wonder so let's see what I can tackle this time! Hmm looks like the Sea got some new stuff. This of course means a call for:

So to refresh your memories, sometime back in the spring or even last winter. The autistic genius that is HotStuff had brainstormed on something for the Sea that stole items, something like Dolphins that would just take your stuff. Not exactly when they brought this up on the radio shows but I believe it was one of those in-depth discussion segments that they did a couple of times which one show discussed why the Sea was, quotey fingers, an utter failure (which it still is). They theorized that people just like to see items drop, doesn't matter what, as long as it's some items. Continuing, they were wondering about the players emotions and how if they had something that decreased shit dropping or took it away how it'll affect the player. As I'm typing this myself it's starting to sound vaguely familiar. It's like it's all coming back to me now. Anyway, fast forward to Fall of '09 and they finally set forth on putting their crappy theory into motion thus implementing it into the game. And just like it was ass on paper, it's ass in the game. So if a dolphin happens to steal your shit, you can go to the Brother/Sister NPC castle place and buy a whistle for a sand dollar that'll put you into a fight with a dolphin for a chance to get your shit back. Why Why Why? What's the point of this? There's enough aggervation in the Sea for one lifetime why do you need to tack on more dumbshit that just overall wastes more of your time. Now granted you supposedly get the item that the dolphin steals from you, 100% of the time or so I hear but even then, you have to go out of your way to get something of yours back in a zone that's already cursed with ridiculous penalties.
Well, make that one less penalty...sorta. Turns out they loosen the clamp on the testicles with the meat penalty for the Briny Deeps. And by loosen, I mean barely nudged. Again, still nothing to help the Sea's case to make it worth it to adventure there.

KoL seems to be experimenting with special events happening because Halloween has some doohickey thing going on which reminds me, Happy Halloween everybody! So prior to the 31st here, there were a couple of days to where you could do some early trick-or-treating in town as well as go over to the what I like to call The Less Sucky Arboretum zone and fight spooky trees. Some of the trees will drop spooky bark which if collect enough of them grants you an outfit. Put the outfit on and you'll get a special adventure which grants you an ax. Equip the 2-hander ax and after awhile, like say 20-30 turns you'll wind up with a boss fight. Defeat the boss to get special rewards which have yet to be implemented. Aaaand that's where we stand as of right now. Could be something ass like the conclusion of the Rock event which was a ploy to spring the new spell damage crit onto people. Or, it could end with something decent, just like uh.........umm......the uh.......Well let's hope that it just won't suck too bad and that it's tradeable so that we can throw it back into Skully's face. Also from the less sucky Arboretum you can aquire some major elemental resistences along with one piece one turn costumes that you can trick or treat with. I'm not expecting too much out of this event seeing their rap sheet of shittyness over the years, but at least it's the thought that counts, I guess.

So uh, yeah. that poll thing.....that I meant to post......about two weeks ago. Yeah. My bad:

COMMENTS:

Pretty Cool Guy said on Oct 05 2009, 07:47 AM:
I would agree it's not particularly that great, or original. The extra turns are nice if you're doing a speed run or something. But hey, at least Mr. A prices are going down a bit, right?

Your Mom said on Oct 06 2009, 04:48 PM:
My favorite part of the Polyp is I can skip it and it's driving down Mr. A prices. The Wild Hare mechanic is appealing to newbies, and 40m is really expensive for your average player. Polyp is basically CCC 2.0 with better flavor and the time mechanic added on. Mostly it's a very niche aftercore familiar for those doing gimmick clan dungeon runs.

playhavock said on Oct 28 2009, 12:45 AM:
boring familar is boring. whatever it crashed the mr a market i guess also they threated an in game existing item to make the iotm better. this does not bode well... but at least they did leave that alone

SMOOT'S INPUT: Gotta agree with PrettyCoolGuy on this one, not really all that awesome but as long as it makes Mr. A prices tank it couldn't be all that bad.......or could it? I'm looking forward to next month's item being another familiar cause y'know, they just absolutely love pushing those out all the time. If not, some kind of equip item that won't be worth it yada yada yada. Also, Hi Mom! New poll THAT I WON'T WAIT AN ETERNITY ON! will be placed at the bottom of the page

Aaaand that's going to do it for me tonight, thanks for reading! Either during or after the other blog site maintence, I'll update some things around here like that banner at the top and I'll have that WoW to KoL entry as well hopefully. Really been swamped with personal stuff so time for me has been limited. Not going to promise the next time I'll have an entry (excluding the IotM one of course) but I'll be more frequent here or attempt to be at least. I really appreciate your dedication on sticking around through all this even though I somewhat trash this game on a constant basis. Double thumbs up to you guys. Alright I'm just rambling on and sucking up now so I'm gonna go. Have a good night and a safe holiday and uh, 'til we meet again I guess.

New Entry...

...within the next couple or so days on the recent content additions to the game. Does it suck? You might be surprised what I have to say. Also, I'll remember to actually post the poll results this time. I'm in dire need of ginko biloba.

It'll be done around rollover tonight!

Whole Bunch Of Stuff All Bundled Together - Wrap Up

EDIT: Almost as insane as this guy:

it's "I rather do physical harm to myself than to play any part of the Sea" with me, "OMG, he's finally back this time" xSmootx.

The following has been...HOLY FUCK WHERE'S THE TIME GONE!?

Oh wow, could've sworn I at least made a couple entries about some of the recent dumbshit that went into the game. Mostly cause I've been trying to rack my brain on PHP works in WordPress for my new blog coming out as soon as I can design it or get someone to do it. As soon as I can get that rolling, things should be back to normal around here. With that said, I'm coked up on sugary drinks so let's move forward on what I missed to cover:

Latest on October's IotM and Mr. A prices
Not too much has changed from now and what I've said about this month's familiar. I think my assessment was generally in the ballpark despite me being not as hands on with the game that I used to be. Mr. A's seem to be stable, and I say that loosely, at around 6 mil. I think if November's Item turns out to be a stinker like this month's we could see another dip in prices back down to normal territory. Especially with December's typical "we have to be incredibly useless" stipulation that's inherited each year, I really think they'll go back down to 5 mil. Of course I say that assuming that some putz who happens to have a lot of money will go around buying up Mr. A's just to be a dick.

CDM Tries to be Important...Again
Late in September there were some vibrations in the game. Those vibrations were the sounds of CDM's futile attempts of making himself useful by trying to add more Greasemonkey stuff into the game. Seriously, can this guy do something else instead of implementing useless gimmicky features. Anyway, the new stuff this time around includes a shitty sister right click menu, having another pointless section in your inventory for your favorites, and --the hum-dinger of them all -- a three column layout for your inventory for you people who have those ridiculously widescreen monitors. I'm not even going to get into how pointless HD and widescreen are but really, is this what all the time and effort is being spent on? I get that it's optional and that the UI isn't the best in the world, I get that,  but seriously there's other stuff that should be worked on like not making the game total ass to would be a key note in my mind instead of petty throwaway tasks that CDM has to do to make himself feel relevant to the admin team.

A New Chefstaff, Note the Lack of Plural
With Tuesday Updates starting to become a common commodity again, the more Tuesdays have been thrown away for frivolous content. Couple weeks ago is a prime example for a new chefstaff. Yes, chefstaff because clearly one new chefstaff will magically make the world of cheffstaves better. Okay hypothetically that could happen but not in this case sadly. Recently, the rib of the bonerdagon could be chefstafferized!...into something mediocre, not worth mentioning, and will be obsoleted in a couple of levels anyway. I'd personally want to see more staves that are like the walk in freezer but who wants to waste time developing something like that when we have a person on the ball putting all their time in the smoke and mirrors of chat commands and scouters to rip content from World of Warcraft. I mean, who wants to actually develop stuff anymore?

Out with the Old and in with More of the old
The 2 priced Mr. A familiar combinations duo of the Volleyball/Leprechaun and Leprechaun/Fairy have finally reached it's time in Mr. Store to be cycled out. The Uniclops Egg and Psychedelic Gay Bear are now rares to have for all must have familiar collectors...or until Jick takes a shit on that as well. So did we get a different combination in return? Keep dreamin'. Just once I'd like to see something different in the 2 Mr. A category when this time rolls around. Despite my quarrels, we get a Michigan J Frog knockoff and a Chauvinist Pig who I hope at least tells someone to get back in the kitchen. I don't know because it apparently takes 3 fucking days on the wiki for people to spade out the messages of a familiar. With that being said these two guys will take up space from now until around this time next year so that we can get, that's right, MORE OF THE SAME!

Really? Another Sea Update? (Insert Overly Crowded Graphic with a Facepalm)
*Sigh*. Hey look, they decided that they haven't done enough to the sea, an already failed zone, so they decided what's one more update going to hurt, Right? I present to you yet another throwaway Tuesday Update where they continue focusing content towards a quagmire and I'm not talking about the Giggity-Giggity kind or the one you'd find in Eureka's Castle....I'm talking about the "WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THIS DONE YET SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE ALREADY!?" kind. Ugh. Anyways, there's a couple more all new familiars that you can grab down here that are exactly like a leprechaun or a gravy fairy. The only catch is that they can already breathe underwater because they're aquatic in someway. This has some people's nards in a knot because it obsoletes Das Boot, a familiar equipment that you get as a quest reward from the Old Man. Imagine that, a quest reward obsoleted and the zone hasn't even been finished yet! Apparently this got some people's nards in a knot to where they wound up complaining about said content onto the forums. This of course clearly elicted a response from Skully where he hopelessly defended said content. Hmm, Skully vs The People, where have I heard this song and dance jig before? Seriously, it's getting fucking old seeing you trying to put up a fight over garbage content. Unless of course you happened to have acquired the "Shitty Content Defender" title in your job description now, right in between "Reference Researcher" and "Useless Prick" without me knowing about it. I mean I HAVE been away from the forums for quite some time. At least he getting practice in for when Crimbo rears its recycled head around this year. Anyways, no more content time for the Sea, the Sea has had it's 15 minutes of shittyness. Move on to something else already...LIKE A ZONE OR ASCENSION FORMAT THAT DOESN'T BLOW ASS!!!

Aaaaand with that I'm gonna close it out for the night here. I'll save the poll results for this Wednesday cause I feel quirky about that for some reason. Anyway, new blog is almost on completion, if you thought me talking about KoL wasn't caustic enough...you haven't seen anything yet. I would give you guys the link but I don't feel comfortable having the default templates being in place. I want some style at least before I spread the word around. Anyway, I am out for the night, have a good one and take care everybody!

October's Iotm - Poll Results

Huh? Whaa? Oh right the IotM thingy.

Y'know I'm just gonna start auto shooting down familiars cause the game's crammed enough with them already. This one in particular is kinda bad because it labels out that it "can breathe underwater" as one of the selling points. Kinda like the Ghuol Whelp familiar, the Potato's especially boring...put them together you have a sorta bland combination. I should know, I actually picked up the crapass riftlet thinking it was hot shit in pre-wiki times and felt betrayed upon actually using it. So how do you fix up a past mistake in KoL? Simple, you don't! All you do is take the same bland combination for a Mr. Store familiar. Sprinkle in some throwaway crap gimmicks like breathing underwater and chat effects. Finally add in a lame last minute mechanic from another mediocre familiar and BLAM!...insta-IotM/Profit! I applaud the Wild Hare gimmick which does seem like a lame last minute thing to tack on but I like that past Mr. Store familiar mechanics are being used in today's abominations.

With all that said, I'm thumbs downing this. Nothing really there to highlight and say "this is great!". If anything it's shot towards the casual audience I feel aside from the "EVERY DONATION ITEM HAS TO BE NOOB FRIENDLY LOLZ" cardinal rule that goes into developing these. Whoops, used the D-word there. By developing, what I meant to say was brainshitting. Right shoptroll? See, he even agrees. Anyway, the only upside to this is that Mr. A's have gone down a bit. Granted they're still at 6.4 mil in this moment in time but hopefully a couple more shitty IotM's will take some more air out of the prices. Hopefully.

Here's this unplanned month-long Poll Results:

COMMENTS:
toe76 said on Sep 07 2009, 01:51 AM:

I do admit, fighting Chris Rock was fun, but it could've been more epic? I mean, You're fighting the only funny black comedian(not trying to be racist) and he dies in 1 hit, WTF? Content wise, it was all an introduction to spell crits. Admittedly bonus content to match a new mechanic is nicer than no bonus content, it could've been executed better.

Smoot's Input: Agreed. The payoff in the end was tremendously weak and could've been done a whole hell of a lot better. Sorta wish they would do more bonus content but the way they ended the rock event makes me rather have nothing than something. New poll's on the bottom and uh, I promise to maintain it a little better, IE not wait for like a month to post the results.